20 Ways to Make Naruto Characters Wanna Kill You
by rainclawwarriorcat
Summary: The title says it all. Rated T for Language. I've done Gaara, Kiba, Deidara & Sasori, then you can request your favorite  or not  character.
1. Gaara and Rain

**I present to you:**

**PAM  
>PAM<strong>

**PAM PAAAAAAAM!**

**Please R&R**

**20 Ways to Make the Naruto Characters Want to Kill You:**

"Gaara!" I shouted, swinging the door of the Kazekage's office open. "Are you there?" I glanced around the room. If he wanted to avoid me, he could, easily.

I glimpsed some movement above my head. Looking up, guess whom I saw?  
>"Gaara! There you are!" I smirked, "You can't hide from me for long, can you?" I say, grabbing his dangling hand and pulled it down so that he fell face-first on the floor. "Hi." I said, smiling at his confused face.<p>

"Hi." He rasped, frowning. "What do you want."

The smile still didn't wipe off my face. "Just…Oh, nothing really." The smile grew wider.

"Then, WHY THE HELL DID YOU COME HERE?" He jumped up and shook my shoulders. "Hn. Never mind. Will you just leave?" And after noticing I wasn't about to answer, he knew I wasn't about to leave. "Again, never mind, I know you're not gonna do as I say. SO, what do you _really_ want."

"I said, 'Nothing really', but if you want me to think of something, I can." I took out a laptop from my bag and sat down to start writing.

_ Gaara turns into a chibi kitten. _

And he did exactly that. Gaara quickly transformed into a red kitten with the "I love only myself" character written on his forehead.

The kitten mewed, loudly. But he was SO ADORABLE! "Come here Gaaru-Gaaru!" I picked up the kitten and—very unfortunately for me—he clawed my face. I should have written, _Gaara turns into a chibi kitten with no claws. _ Because even kittens' claws are sharp, very sharp.

_ Gaara runs out of the Kazekage's office and to the center of the village. A deer suddenly jumps over him and flowers start growing under his feet. Rabbits and mice run around in circles around the flowers and birds chirp around the tall sand buildings. _

My powers have NO limit. I can do whatever I want. And Gaara did exactly that. He ran out of the office and to the center of the sand village, then a deer jumped over his head and flowers started growing. Rabbits and mice run around and birds fly incessantly around.

_Gaara sits down in the field of beautiful flowers and starts picking some. He picks a small white flower and starts to say, while picking the petals, "I love me, I love me not, I love me, I love me not, I love me, I love me not, I love me, I love me not…" And so on until he reached the last petal, "I love me!" Delighted with his result, he swirled around in circles, his usual attire turning into a fluffy pink-and-white Lolita dress. His hair suddenly grew into two long pigtails. _

Sadly, my powers DO have limits. I can't change the gender of the characters; I can only make them look like girls/boys. I can't change, their…Um, parts.

_Gaara was getting dizzy and decided to let himself fall to the ground. _

I glanced outside, oh; my powers were working all right.

_ Gaara brings his hand to his mouth and turns to the window of the room I was standing in. He blows me a cute little kiss, and the heart pops when it gets to the window. _

That was enough for now. I deleted everything I had written and waited for Gaara to come back.

The door creaked open. "Rain…" He started, flowers were still in his hair and clothes, and a rabbit shot out the door as he walked in. "I hate you."

"Oh, yes Gaara, I love you too." I grinned.

**The chapters won't be very long, but there will be 20. So enjoy! And please review!**


	2. Sasori, Deidara, and Rain

**rainclawwarriorcat Productions presents the 2****nd**** chapter of 20 Ways to Make the Naruto Characters Want to Kill You featuring Sasori and Deidara!  
>Please Enjoy and R&amp;R.<strong>

I was humming the tune of _Afternoon of Konoha_ loudly when I entered the cave where the Akatsuki were hiding. "Sa-a-a-a-a-aaa-So-o-o-o-o-Riii?" I called Sasori's name in the tune of the song. "You there?" I looked around the cave, peeking around every fingertip of the two giant hands.

Kisame answered instead. "He's not here. But I can fetch him for you, Rain." He grinned; his sharp teeth almost seemed to shine.  
>"Yeah, thanks." I nodded, "How do you get your teeth to be so clean." I added under my breath.<p>

A few minutes later, Sasori appeared, and Shark-guy didn't seem to be with him. "Where's Kisame, Puppet-boy." I asked.

"Stop calling me that, Rainclaw." He rasped in his puppet armor. "And Kisame won't be in this world for much longer.

I shuddered. "Won't—won't be in this world for…much longer…?" I nodded quickly, "Ok, ok. And stop calling _me_ that. Just call me Rain. Rainclaw's too long."

"Fine, _Rain._" He hissed my name with venom. "What do you want? I have other things to do and you know I hate to keep people waiting."

I started laughing like a maniac. No, actually, like a maniac is an understatement. And Sasori wasn't happy, because he knew I was wasting his time. "I'm sorry." I wiped a tear from my face. "Right, right. I'm not here to waste your time—whatever you may think—Puppet-boy. I'm actually here to ask you something."  
>He was getting very ticked off at this point. I was very careful to pronounce each of my words slowly and act as if I was talking to a little kid.<p>

"And what might that _something _be, _Rain_." Again, my name was filled with hatred. "As I said before, I especially _hate _to keep people waiting."

"Right, that." I grinned. I had no exact purpose for coming here, so I had to think of one, quickly before Sasori decides to kill me. "I," cough, "just want to," cough, "know," cough. A light bulb appeared over my head. "What you look like without you puppet armor!" But of course, I already knew. "Rumors are…" I whispered in his ear, or what I though to be his ear. "That you're pretty hot." I smirked.

I could picture him blushing, but then I though he could never do such a thing. "Teehee." I laughed, stepping away from him.

"Well, if that's all, I won't have to keep Deidara waiting." He said, and stepped a little closer to me. "But just to let you know…" Closer, and closer. "The rumors are true."

"I though you didn't like to keep people waiting." I said. "Hurry up." He opens his puppet mouth to speak, but closes it again, as if he had just notices the time and wanted to leave.

"Alright, then." He stripped off his Akatsuki cape to reveal the puppet armor he's always wearing. The back of the puppet opened and out came the real Sasori. His head was faced down, like an unanimated puppet and he was wearing another Akatsuki cape. Curly red hair covered his face until he lifted his head up. Curly red hair, and brown eyes. And as the rumors said, he was hot.

"There. I'll take my leave now." Sasori said, turning away to leave the Akatsuki layer.

"Wait!" I said, determined to make him want to kill me. I took out my laptop from my bag and opened it up. _Microsoft Word Document. _I opened a new one and started typing.

_Sasori's Akatsuki cape changes colors, the red cloud and inside of the cape turning pink, the cape turning light blue, and the outline of the cloud staying white. Sasori admires his new garment approvingly and nods before leaving to join Deidara. _

_Deidara, now looking very girly in the new cape, waits impatiently for Sasori to finally arrive. _

"_Sasori, my man," he says, "I thought you hated to keep people waiting." Sasori just grunts and walks past Deidara. _

"_Aren't we going to out actual meeting place now?" He asks. Deidara nods and they walk side-by-side to they're so called "Meeting Place", which just so happens to be a hot spring. _

_As they arrive at the hot spring, an old lady welcomes them by saying, "Hello there, gentleman, lady. How are you today?" She smiled widely and slid open the main door. _

"_WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" Deidara shouted throughout the whole building. _

"_Lady?" The woman frowned. "Why?" _

"_Because I'm a guy! HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL?" _

_The woman gasped and blushed. "I'm sorry, sir. Please forgive me!" _

"_Fine." Deidara snapped. "Sasori, why do everybody think I'm a girl! I mean… I don't have…" He gestured his chest. "Things right here! Only Konan does!"_

_Sasori sighed. "Deidara. Onto our mission." _

"_Right." The gender-bended art-obsessed idiot nodded. "What was is again?"_

_Silence, that's what it was._

I quickly deleted it all, but the aftershock soon came. 

I started laughing, but stopped after a few seconds, after realizing that Deidara and Sasori would both hate me for this.

And they did. I waited at the Akatsuki cave for a while before they appeared again.

"Rain." Deidara was so close to my face I could feel his warm breath. "I'll make you explode." And me, knowing my perverted self, took it the wrong way. "R—really? Deidara, I didn't know….You felt this way about…Me…" Of course it was a joke, but Deidara wasn't laughing.

"It means I'll kill you, you idiot!" He stepped away from me. "Dammit! I swear I'll kill you!"

"Riiiiiiiiiight." I laughed. "Sasori? Anything else to say?" I turned to him

"Just 3 words. I hate you."

"I know, Sasori, I know."  
>"I hate you too, Rain, don't forget me."<br>"Oh, I didn't forget you Deidara. I know." I smirked.

**Deidara: Why did you just make me go through that?**

**Sasori: I hate you Rain. **

**Deidara: Oh, yeah, she'll pay for this. **

**Me: Uh-oh. Maybe I should go. **

**Thanks for reading! If you don't review, I'll set Deidara and Sasori on you with my powahs!  
>Sasori &amp; Deidara: Oh no you don't. <strong>


	3. Kiba, and Rain To pink hell

**DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!  
>rainclawwarriorcat Productions presents the 3rd Way to Make Naruto Characters Wanna Kill You! Featuring Kiba and Akamaru!<strong>

**Here are our special guests:**

**Kiba: What are you gonna make me go through?**

**Rain (me): You really wanna know?  
>Kiba: I take it back, no. Just hurry up and make the torture quick. <strong>

**Rain:****I****think****I****might****just****make****this****the****longest****chapter****so****far.****  
>Enjoy<strong>**and****please****R&R!  
>(This<strong>**is****dedicated****to**_pink____hell_**,****so****ya****better****enjoy****this****X3,****and****I****'****m****sorry****I****took****so****long****to****put****it****up)**

**(Btw, my file with the chapter got deleted, so I had to re-write EVERYTHING ALL over again… Life hates me, I swear it does XD)**

**~O~o~O~**

"Kiba?" I called, walking around the training clearing with his stupid dog Akamaru. (Who was the size of a giant bear) "I have your dog now come here this second, or I swear I'll use my powers on you!" Akamaru barked, as if saying "Don't insult my owner, or else!"

"Oh yeah, punk? Wanna pick a fight with me? Oh, you're gonna get one all right." I climbed up a tree and took out my bag. (Climbing the tree was very hard because I didn't have chakra) I opened up my laptop and wrote one short sentence:

_Akamaru turns into a cat._

"CHA!" I yelled from the tree. "You're gonna get it!" Akamaru barked at me a few times, but then his barked became wines, and his wines became mews. His bones grinded and shredded into bits and became shorter, until he was the size of a cat. His fur was the same color but flattered out and softened. The process continued until he was completely a cat.

"Uh-oh, Kiba's gonna kill me, let's just hope he doesn't find out." I jumped down the tree and slowly turned around to leave.

"What am I not gonna find out?" A familiar voice said, and I turned around to find Kiba, hands in his pockets and a frown on his face. "Long time no see, Rain. What's going on with Akamaru? I thought he was here."

I grinned widely and stammered out, "No! Um yeah, he's…here…" I stepped aside to reveal the tiny kitty Akamaru.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" He yelled in my ear. "Akamaru? Is that you, boy?" He stepped closer and closer to him, until Kiba was holding Akamaru in his arms. "Who did this?"

"Um…" I shuffled my feet.

"RAIN?" He put Akamaru down and was staring at me. "Did YOU do this?"

"Maaaaaaybe…" I tried my best to smile innocently but I burst out laughing instead. "I'm sorry!" I said, wiping a tear from my eyes. "I'll change him back."

I opened up my computer once again and started deleting.

_Akamaru turns into a cat._

_Akamaru turns into a cat_

My computer suddenly shut down. "Holy crap." I cursed. "My computer's outta battery." I closed it up and searched for the charger in my bag. It was empty. The charger was gone. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream, throwing my head up and closing my eyes to make it more dramatic.

"It's—it's gone. Forever…" I whispered. Then burst out laughing again, I was never really the best in my drama class. "Hahahahaha!" I was literally rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. "Look, Kiba, I'm going to have to find my charger. Care to help?" I said, after my laugh spasm stopped.

It almost seemed like he had snarled at me in response. "This is the last time I do you a favor, got it?"

I smiled widely. "OKIII!" I said in a cute babyish voice.

"Hurry up and turn Akamaru back." He raises his fists, "Or else!" Kiba picks Akamaru up and jumps a few feet away. "Let's go already." I trail after him quickly, and we searched every inch of Konoha before resting for the night, with Akamaru still as a cat. And I have to say, Kiba's sister was NOT happy.

"Hey Naruto!" I waved at him. "I though you'd be at Ichiraku!" I said proudly. "Can I stay at your place tonight?" I took a seat next to him.

"Sure, Rain-chan!" He sipped up the last of the ramen, and turned to me. "Why stay at my place, though?"

I laughed, "I was going to stay at Kiba's but…Something happened." I ordered a extra large bowl of pork ramen and wait for it to get ready. "So I'm staying at your place." My order arrived. "By the way, where's Sakura?"

"She left with Sai and Captain Yamato on a mission." He paused, "Without me…" He stood up and was ready to leave just as I finished my bowl.

"Ok, then. Well, I have a mission for you. Only it's probably a D-rank." I stopped talking for a minutes, waiting for Naruto to process it.

About ten minutes passed before her burst. "WHAT? D-RANK? I'm almost HOKAGE and you want ME to go on a D-RANK MISSION?"

I sweatdropped, "_Almost_Hokage. Not yet, and right now, you're still a Genin, Na-Ru-To." I snapped. "So deal with it!" I got up and patted Naruto on the shoulder. "Look, this is a matter of life and death. You have to find my computer charger, ok? I need to be able to count on you Naruto."

"Fine. This is the only D-rank mission you're ever giving me, got it?" He said. "But I'll do it, for you." He grinned.

"Cool. Should we get started tomorrow morning?" I asked. He nodded. "Ok, your place, right?" He nodded again.

"Let's go."

-  
>"RAIN-CHAN!" It was probably Naruto. "WAKE UP!" I could feel something shaking me violently.<p>

"Mhm?" I pulled the blanket over my head, only there was no blanket, I tugged at thin air. "Whaaaat?" I blink open my eyes and find Naruto staring at me. I finally understand how Hinata feels. His face was only millimeters from mine; I could feel his warm breath on my nose. I blushed, for the first time in years, I blushed.

"NARUTO! Get OFF me!" My face was tomato red and the color was slowly getting more shades darker. When he finally did as I said, I sighed. "Ok, what's wrong now?"  
>"The mission? What happened to <em>that,<em>dammit?" He stood up and waited for me at the door. "Are we going?"

"Actually, change of plans, you're going alone. I don't have ninja skills. Sorry." I forced a smirk. "I have a bunch of things to deal with here in Konoha… Kyuubi. You're the nine-tails, you can deal with this, right?" I started getting dressed, although it was pretty embarrassing for me to strip down to my underwear in front of Naruto, there was no time to loose. I quickly put on a high-collared (like the Uchiha shirts) baby blue half-shirt, and ¾ baby blue sweat pants with black high ninja boots, bandage arms-warmers that went from my half my arm to my wrist (the shirt was almost sleeveless). My stomach showed, although I usually wore bandages or fishnet to cover that, but my clothing in the Naruto world is usually a lot more accessorized that this.

"It's just a D-Rank. You said you'd do it for me." The only thing missing here was the leaf headband, I wanted one so bad. "Right? Now get to work."

He looked at me blankly. "Rain, this is the last time I'm doing this for you." He turned around. "You look pretty hot by the way."

And this was the second time I'd blushed in years. "You idiotic perv. I'm sure you got this from Jirayia." I tried to hide my face with my bangs but I could tell Naruto noticed because he giggled. "I hate you." I snarled. **(A/N:****Yes,****I****know,****this****is****supposed****to****be****20****Ways****to****Make****NARUTO****Characters****Wanna****kill****you,****TOO****BAD****YOU****FREAKS,****I****'****m****adding****a****bonus****chapter****after****this****one****it****'****s****gonna****be****A****Few****Ways****To****Make****Me****Wanna****Kill****the****Naruto****Characters.)**

"Fine then." He growled. "I'm going." He left. Finally.

I walked out of the apartment and jumped down the railing.

"Rainclaw. I have to speak to you." Uh-oh, I turned around to see Kiba's sister, Hana, and Kiba behind her. I almost forgot, the Three Haimaru brothers were with them too, and Akamaru…as a cat.

"Rain, have you found it yet?" By _it_, I believe Kiba meant the charger.

"Don't worry, Kiba, I sent Naruto to find it." I said, grinning.

"You idiot!" He snapped. "So you're too much of a coward to find it yourself!" Hana put a hand on his shoulder. "Kiba, calm down. Rainclaw isn't even a genin, how can she go on a mission?" She said, but I could tell from the tone of her voice, she was about to jump on me and pin me down.

"I swear Naruto will come back with it." I continued, trying to get off the subject. "So how's"—

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Kiba yelled. "Rain, you're just a COWARD! Dammit, I'm outta here!" He ran off with Akamaru, leaving my and Hana standing there, an awkward silence menacing to start.

I wasn't too happy with what I'd done. Sadly, I'm usually too confident in myself to be afraid that the Naruto characters _will_ actually hate, for real. And this covers the first thing, the second one is that I think Kiba actually hates me, which I don't want, since he's one of my favorite characters, and this brings me to my third point, that I'm all alone with Kiba's scary sister. And what's more, I could tell she hated me.

"I think I should leave now." She said, relieving me greatly.

But as she was turning around to leave, I stopped her. "Wait!" Bad idea, "What did you want to talk to me about? Why did you come here to see me?"

"Oh dear," she was faking it, I could tell. "I'm so sorry I didn't explain myself. I meant to say that…" She leaned close to me, I could feel her breath in my ear, and it was enough to send shivers down my spine. "If you want to live, don't come near Kiba again." She snarled, and stepped away from me. "But that's just until you turn Akamaru back, so don't worry! Haha!" She waved her hand as she walked away.

I sweatdropped. "Man, some women are really scary. I can't even _start_to picture how Shikamaru's mom is like.

"Whose mother?" A voice behind me asked.

I turned around and saw... Shikamaru's mother. I sweatdropped. "I wasn't talking about you. Haha…ha...ha. Anyway, I have to go, um, someone I have to meet. Bye!" I waved as I left, running for dear life.

~o~O~o~

A few days later…..

"Kiba!" I called from outside the door of his house. "Guess what!" The door opened to reveal Kiba's sister and himself. I giggled creepily. "I found the computer charger… It was in my bag the whole time." Oops, maybe I should've said that last part.

"WHAT THE HELL?"  
>"Anything else to say."<p>

"I'll kill you."

"Aw. I was hoping a 'I hate you, Rain' or something like that."

Kiba didn't answer…


End file.
